Overcoming negative moments in life does not simply happen.

For many immigrants, nowhere is this more true than in overcoming abusive relationships with a person they both love and fear.

Many immigrant who are victims of domestic violence and physical abuse feel trapped in their relationships.

It requires taking actions to change and the courage to take those actions.

They worry that without their partner, no matter how badly they are mistreated and harmed, there is no path to permanent residence.

They’re wrong.

I wanted to retire.

I felt unmotivated to fight.

I knew my clients deserved better. They were facing deportation, a near life-or-death situation, and they needed a warrior.

My passion for law had disappeared.

My mother had passed away.

Fighting my own mental and emotional wounds, I had nothing left over to give to others.

Sound a little harsh?

Good.  I have your attention.

If you work with a notario, you’re likely ready to pounce on every word I write.

Perhaps reading my title, your ears perked up like a poodle sensing potential danger nearby.

Allow me to explain.

At a recent green card interview, the officer asked my client, “Why did you return home in 1985 and 1988?”

“To give birth to my two children,” she responded.

“I couldn’t afford the health care here.”

The officer gave me a confused, dazed look.

I couldn’t bite my lip.

“Sort of kills the anchor baby rhetorical nonsense, doesn’t it?”

He never went home.

He left his native county at the age of 20 to find work. Born in an impoverished area of a poor country, he left home to earn money which he could send back to his mother and eight siblings.

He ventured through, and stayed briefly at, a few countries, eventually reaching the United States.

For the next 25 years, he crisscrossed California, Arizona, and Utah, moving from crop to crop before settling in San Diego where he worked as a dishwasher at one of the city’s most prestigious restaurants.

Are immigrant males ever the victim of domestic violence?

Sure.

Is there any program to help them?

Yes.

It’s called the Violence Against Women Act.

All that is gold does not glitter. Not even wedding rings, especially from second spouses.

Because marriages are one of the easier paths to winning permanent residence, they invite close immigration scrutiny.

An immigrant’s second marriage prompts extra caution.  Besides assessing the authenticity of the current union, government officers probe the first marriage and divorce for indicators of marriage fraud.

April 1, 1997.

The day IIRAIRA went into effect.

The day we entered the Age of Immigration Darkness.

For immigrants, a divorce is not always the worst aspect of divorces. In many instances, a divorce has no impact on immigration status.

On the other hand, navigating the issues of family court proceedings is often like tip-toeing through a field of landmines. One misstep and permanent residency or citizenship dreams are shattered.